I have an issue. I've recently made the discovery that I was "de-friended" on facebook and I'm feeling upset. It's probably lame and completely unnecessary for me to feel this way considering that I was friends with this person in high school and honestly haven't spoken to her much past graduating in '03. Should I care that we're not "friends" anymore? No, probably not. Should I honestly be offended by this? That's a definite no, but it's hard not to be.
I can honestly say that I experienced one of the scariest moments of my life with this person and I think that's why this de-friending feels very odd and almost hurtful. I also think it's bringing to light the fact that I am not in contact with any of the friends I made in high school. These thoughts lead me to thinking about how that might reflect poorly on me: Am I incapable of keeping friends? I realize that's a tid bit dramatic but really, that's where my mind takes me. I would love to have lasting relationships like that but perhaps they weren't meant to be or perhaps I really didn't keep my end of the bargain that's necessary for something like that. What I do know now is that I made some super friends in college and living so far away from them right now is making things hard. I have a major issue with comparing myself to others and when I see girlfriends getting together, going shopping, tanning at the lake, I become extremely jealous and worried that my life will never be like that again. Thankfully I do have those college friends that I can visit back in KC and talk to to help ease me through my transition. I am also thankful I have a wonderful husband that supports me throughout my crazy talk of feeling like I will never have a girl friend again.
In all actuality when I think about it, how bothered can I be by this de-friending? If it was a real bother then I'm guessing I would have made some sort of effort in the first place. I'm thinking that being friends in reality is a bit more important that being friends online. Facebook does add a new dimension to things though...it makes it all just a bit more interesting when you can see your list of "friends" and can watch as it changes when life takes you to new places, when you grow up, when you make new friends, and when you lose friends completely. All I can say is thank goodness facebook was not around when I was in middle school. :)
1 comment:
I know how you feel (although have "cleaned" my Fb account once or twice...so guilty as charged). I've had some people de-friend me---and you're right--it does make you think "Huh?!" Especially if I still interact with them on a regular basis. I've also had people not accept friend invites. This bugged me a little, until someone whom I REALLY did not want to have contact with from my past kept "friending" me. I finally was honest, though, and sent this person a detailed message as to why I was not going to accept their invite. Stopped them dead! Otherwise...I'm trying to just think "well....maybe they had their reasons"---especially if it's an old friend from high school. I went to high school almost 15 years ago (scary...I know), so I can easily think maybe they don't remember me, maybe they limit how many people they have on their Fb, etc. Otherwise, if the de-friend me and I currently interact with them a lot, I just try to be really friendly to them...and try no to worry about it. Oh...once or twice I've "friended" back again. If they accept it that time it does seem to get a message across that "I like you, and your friendship is important to me"---which can be important especially for those "old" friends.
It's hard...but I try to remember that becoming offended is a choice I make :)
Mary P. (from the Lawrence Univ. Ward)
Post a Comment